Finding Space in the Mind: A Story of Adult ADHD

As a counsellor, I often meet clients who come to therapy feeling frustrated and confused about why they can’t seem to get life under control, no matter how hard they try. Many don’t realise that some of their biggest struggles could be linked to undiagnosed ADHD — a real, brain-based condition that often flies under the radar, especially in adults.

One client I’ll call Tom (name changed for privacy) came to see me in his mid-20s. Tom described feeling “all over the place.” He would jump into relationships too quickly, say things impulsively that hurt people he cared about, and drink more than he wanted to — often to quiet the restless energy he couldn’t explain. He carried a lot of shame, believing he was simply "bad at adulting."

But as we worked together, a different picture started to emerge. Tom’s difficulties with impulse control, emotional overwhelm, and planning weren't about a lack of effort — they were signs that his brain was wired differently.

Research shows that ADHD is connected to real, physical differences in the brain — particularly in areas that control motivation, decision-making, and emotional regulation. It's not about being lazy or careless. It's about the brain struggling to organise attention, manage feelings, and control impulses.

Through our sessions, Tom began to recognise patterns that pointed toward ADHD. After a formal assessment, he received a diagnosis. This was a huge moment: part relief, part grief.

He finally had an explanation, but it wasn't like a magic switch flipped overnight.

Tom started medication shortly after. He described it beautifully:

"It’s like there’s finally space between my thoughts. Like there’s a pause button I never had before."

Things didn’t instantly become easy. But he noticed important shifts. He could catch himself before reacting on impulse. He could plan better without feeling overwhelmed. He felt less trapped in cycles of shame and guilt. His drinking lessened as he found healthier ways to manage his energy and emotions. His relationships improved because he was able to slow down and communicate more thoughtfully.

Tom’s journey highlights something important:

ADHD doesn’t define a person’s potential — but recognising it can change everything.

Getting a diagnosis isn’t about fixing what's "wrong"; it's about finally understanding yourself, building the right support, and learning new ways to thrive.